By Adewumi Ayanfeoluwa
When a man meets a woman he wants to make the queen of his palace, he proposes to her. If she agrees, the courtship begins. For some, the courtship is overlooked and wedding preparations begin in earnest. While both have their merits and demerits, the demerits of the latter outweigh its merits.
There is this story that has gone viral online. It is the story of a marriage that went sour after less than 24 hours of its commencement. Here is a re-cap for those who missed the story. Only one issue, different perspectives.
From the woman’s point of view: When we got to the hotel, we could not even do anything together, we were so tired. We just went straight to bed. I was dazed when he woke me up in the middle of the night to prepare food for him. I told him I was tired and that he should wait till morning. He declined and insisted that I prepared him food right away. I offered to warm the rice left from our party for him, he refused. He gave me the beating of my life and dragged me to the kitchen. I ran away from the house because I didn’t know what had come over my husband, that was not the man I married.
From the husband’s point of view: During our reception, my wife was asked to give me cake and she refused to kneel down to do it. The M.C. had to make a joke about it to force her to kneel down. She then reluctantly knelt down. This was obvious to everyone. I felt embarrassed before my family, friends and guests. Also, while we were about leaving for our home, my mother-in-law came to give my wife some pepper and meat left from the party to prepare stew for me. I was dazed when my wife replied, ‘Prepare stew for who? Who will prepare these things? You better take them or else they’ll just get spoilt.” I felt, so my wife cannot prepare food for me? Then, I made up my mind I would make her do it in the middle of the night. When we got home, I did not even touch her, I just went to bed straight. She did likewise too. In the middle of the night, I woke her up and asked her to go prepare food for me. She said she was tired and offered to warm spoilt rice for me. I don’t know what came over me. I beat her up and dragged her to the kitchen.”
When one hears stories like this, one cannot but ask, “Where did they meet each other? How did they even meet each other?” Didn’t they court? Because this is clearly a question of character and principles. One would want to ask the man some questions like: Did you just meet this woman? While you dated, where there no instances similar to the scenarios painted above? You overlooked them, right? Why don’t you just overlook this one too, since you already got your prize? Sir, I feel you should be used to such by now. Or were you blinded by love? If that is the case, did the love disappear on the wedding day?
While we pray to the good Lord to repair broken home, there is a call to all singles. An adage in my village says, “What one won’t tolerate as a wealthy person, one starts rejecting while one is still poor.” Take time to know your fiancé. There is no point rushing into marriage. What you won’t tolerate in marriage, don’t overlook it in courtship.